Boys and Books (and how to prevent a life of crime)

BOYS AND BOOKS

After checking out the library book “Melvin Might” by Jon Scieszka I read the back of the book. It said that author Jon Scieszka founded a web-based literacy program for boys. It is called guysread.com . Having two sons it intrigued me. The information below is off of their website and gives statistics and information about boys and reading:

A lot of boys are having trouble reading.

• The U.S. Department of Education reading tests for the last 30 years show boys scoring worse than girls in every age group, every year.
• Eighth grade boys are 50 percent more likely to be held back than girls.
• Two-thirds of Special Education Students in high school are boys.
• Overall college enrollment is higher for girls than boys.

Why might boys be having trouble

• Biologically, boys are slower to develop than girls and often struggle with reading and writing skills early on.
• The action-oriented, competitive learning style of many boys works against them learning to read and write
• Many books boys are asked to read don’t appeal to them. They aren’t motivated to want to read.
• As a society, we teach boys to suppress feelings. Boys aren’t practiced and often don’t feel comfortable exploring the emotions and feelings found in fiction.
• Boys don’t have enough positive male role models for literacy. Because the majority of adults involved in kids’ reading are women, boys might not see reading as a masculine activity.

_______________________________________________________________________________

I found all this information troubling because I know personally having a brother and going to a public school with boys that this is very true. I remember my brother was into reading the Goosebumps series when he was in 5-6th grade, but then his reading dropped off. I think that it is true that boys need books that relate to them. I don’t know any boys that would care to read Anne of Green Gables, Little Women, etc. No offense if they do, but books related to female relationships and dating don’t interest them as much. Boys love adventures. They love mystery. They love non-fiction books as well. I really appreciate what author Jon Scieckza is trying to do by promoting books to encourage boys to read. Boys are rambunctious, loud, physical, dirty, and imaginitive creatures, and somewhere along the way at a certain age they think reading is for girls or for little kids.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

So what if they don’t learn to read:

http://www.scholastic.com/readeveryday/facts.htm

WHAT HAPPENS IF KIDS DON’T LEARN TO READ AND READ WELL:

• Students who don’t read proficiently by third grade are four times more likely to leave school without a diploma when compared to proficient readers. The number rises when those kids also come from poverty. ( The Annie E. Casey Foundation )
• The Coalition for Juvenile Justice (2001) reports that 82 percent of prison inmates are high school dropouts, and a very high proportion of them cannot read. (Adolescent Literacy: A National Reading Crisis)
• More than one third of all juvenile offenders read below the fourth-grade level. (Adolescent Literacy: A National Reading Crisis)
• Every school day in America, 3,000 students drop out — the majority of them are poor readers. Students with below grade level reading skills are twice as likely to drop out of school as those who can read on or above grade level. (Adolescent Literacy: A National Reading Crisis)
• About one-third of all first-year college students took a remedial course in reading or math in 2007-2008. Students taking remedial reading classes in college had only a 17 percent chance of graduating, according to 2004 DOE data. (Alliance for Excellent Education)
• Forecasts that by 2018, 63 percent of all jobs will require at least some postsecondary education. Employers will need 22 million new workers with postsecondary degrees — and the report shows that we will fall short by three million workers without a dramatic change in course. This translates into a deficit of 300,000 college graduates every year between now and 2018. (Georgetown University, Center on Education and the Workforce)
• Forecasters have predicted that if static literacy levels continue, then by 2030 the entire Literacy Level distribution of the U.S. population will have decreased, creating an American workforce that is unequipped and unskilled to work in the demanding global market. (Educational Testing Service)
• In 2008, the California State University System, the largest university system in the country, recorded that more than 60% of its incoming freshmen student’s required remedial coursework in English. (The Center for Future of Teaching and Learning.)
• It was estimated that a single state’s employers will have to pay almost $40 million a year to provide remedial training in reading, writing, and mathematics to its employees if the current trends in secondary school preparation continue. (Achieve, Inc. 2004)
• The United States placed 16th out of 21 OECD (Organization of Economic Co-Operation and Development) countries surveyed for high school graduation rates. (Educational Testing Service 2007

________________________________________________________________________________________________

So based on this information if you want to prevent your son from going to jail make sure and read to him! Okay, that was a joke. Obviously, there are far more factors that go into the connection of poor reading to crime. But they are interesting statistics.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

Bottom line: Check out the guysread.com website for some books ideas for boys.

Here are some YA Christian options:

YA/Teens Fiction

1. Raising Dragons by Brian Davis

2. Chronicles of Narnia, Space Trilogy by C.S. Lewis

3. The Lost Books series by Ted Dekker

4. Lord of the Rings trilogy by J.R.R. Tolkien

5. Veritas Project books by Frank Perretti

6. Shadowmancer and others by G.P. Taylor

List of Classics for boys:

1. Peter Pan

2. The Adventures of Robin Hood

3. Black Beauty

4. Adventures of Tom Sawyer

5. Adventures of Sherlock Holmes

6. The Call of the Wild

7. Treasure Island

8. 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea

9. Robinson Crusoe

10. Adventures of Huckleberry Finn

and many more…

____________________________________________________________________________________________________

Book recommendation from my husband (who was a boy)

The Dangerous Book for Boys

Next post: Book recommendations for Christian parents of boys by my hubby and pastor (same person)

Please let me know any other great books for boys that you love too. What are your sons favorite books?

Christian Checklist: How to Raise the Perfect Child

Checklist on How to Raise a Perfect Child

1. From the moment of conception: Never raise your voice in anger, think bad thoughts, talk behind people’s back, etc. because the baby will know.

2. From the moment they are born: Immediately start character training. They are being selfish and crying too much, give them a time-out. A 2-day old should know that it is not appropriate to cry to get everything they want. Say “use your words” to them.

3. From the moment they get home from the hospital: Make sure their bedroom is climate controlled to the optimum temperature, hang at least 3 pictures of Jesus with children on their walls, every book on their shelf needs to “Christian” (Dr. Seuss, P.D. Eastman, Shel Silverstein, etc will make your child too dreamy, too creative, and too worldly so don’t fill their minds with them).

4. From the moment they begin to talk: Teach them to say “Please, thank you, excuse me, etc.” These need to be taught before mama and dada.

I hope you’ve made it down this far in the post to know that I am being extremely sarcastic. Obviously, I am joking and by the title of this post you should guess that the statement is a complete ruse. The sad truth is that most of us as parents still try to attain this “perfect child” from among our broad of miscreants. We look over our children and can definitely rule-out certain ones from ever holding that title. My oldest, the one that hit his brother in the face with the bat last week, ummm no. The youngest, the one that thinks time-outs are funny and smiles the whole time, ummm not him either. But maybe if discipline them, structure them, mold them, shape them, feed them the proper diet, give them adequate sleep, read them enough stories, then they will be good children. The problem isn’t following steps A through Z to make your kids turn out right. They are not a lamp to be assembled in the proper order otherwise the light doesn’t turn on. The problem is that they are sinners. As discouraging as it can be when you tell a child something 10 times and they still choose the wrong path, they are genetically, spiritually, down-to-their core–sinners. Not to discourage you further, but look at the parents of the Bible.

Hebrews 11 (I read somewhere it could be referred to as the Hall of Faith)

1. Samuel (Heb 11:32)- a faithful follower of God.

Sam’s kids: 1 Samuel 8: 3 Yet his sons did not walk in his ways but turned aside after gain. They took bribes and perverted justice.

2. David  (Acts 13:22) “And when he had removed him, he raised up David to be their king, of whom he testified and said,‘I have found in David the son of Jesse a man after my heart, who will do all my will.’”

David’s son: 1 Kings 11:9 “And the Lord was angry with Solomon, because his heart had turned away from the Lord…”

3. Noah (Heb. 11:7) “heir of righteousness…”

Noah’s son: Ham (Genesis 9: 24) “When Noah awoke from his wine and knew what his youngest son had done to him, he said ‘Cursed be Canaan; a servant shall he be to his brothers.’”

So the Hall of Faith fathers had children that went astray. Not just went astray, but “turned away”. Man, I am in deep water without a life- jacket. I haven’t been a faithful prophet of God, a faithful king, or built a crazy huge boat. My name wasn’t written in Hebrews 11. These fathers of faith had some pretty imperfect kin.

My hope rests in kids like Timothy. (Acts 16: 1-2) “Paul came also to Derbe and to Lystra. A disciple was there, named Timothy, the son of a Jewish woman who was a believer, but his father was a Greek. He was well-spoken of by the brothers…” Timothy was the son of a Christian mom and Greek (unbeliever) father. One thing to note about Timothy was (2 Tim 3:15) “…from childhood you have been acquainted with the sacred writings, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus…” Timothy wasn’t perfect though. Over and over Paul tells Timothy “Do not be ashamed” of the gospel. Was Paul just reciting a mantra so he wouldn’t be ashamed of Jesus? No. (Romans 1: 16) “For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation…” So if Paul wasn’t ashamed, who was? Perhaps, it was Timothy. My model example of a good kid maybe wasn’t so perfect.

In all equations of parenting none equal perfect child.

1. Faithful prophet + years of obeying God = corrupt sons.

2. Faithful king + man after God’s heart = faithful son until later in his life when he turns from God.

3. Faithful Boat Builder + righteous + blameless = son that dishonored his father.

So how can we raise perfect kids? We can’t, and hopefully this has changed your minds because We Shouldn’t Want perfect kids! Our  desire should be for our kids to be Purified sinners. Our hope and prayers should focus on our kids meeting Jesus and then seeing how horrible they are and want Jesus to make them clean. Then the fruit of the Spirit will start to bloom. Then in spite of our parenting example and style they will become like Jesus. Not from anything we did, but because of the work of Christ living in them.

Checklist: How to Raise a Perfect Purified Child

1. Pray for them

2. Read them the Bible

3. Tell them about Jesus

4. Realize there was only One Parent that had the Perfect Child. God had Jesus.

Christian Checklist: Love Your Enemies

“But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” Matt. 5:44

Do you ever find that when you read the Bible you see verses like that and put them in your head as a mental checklist? A reminder that next time I come across an enemy or get persecuted I need to love (check) and pray for them (check). Check them off, and then feel good about your obedience.

I work one day a week as a nurse at a clinic. I’ve been a nurse for 10 years and have been through many different situations and struggles. From the drunk man withdrawing from alcohol and becoming verbal to a seemingly sweet old lady with confusion that decided to try to bite me. I’ve had my share of difficult patients, coworkers, doctors, etc. I can’t say that I’ve had any enemies or anyone that has persecuted me. I’ve lost friends when I became a Christian. I’ve been made fun of. But enemies or persecution, no. I had to look up the word enemy and the definition is many things, but one is hostile. Someone that is hostile toward you. I met an enemy this week.

I was asked to take a phone call at work and long story short, the man was very hostile toward me. I was called a word that refers to female dogs, I was told to “shut the….” I’ll leave the rest to imagination. But I was stunned. I was tearful. I have never had someone be so hostile toward me. The drunk man I referred to before was obviously verbal due to the toxin he put in his body, and the cute confused woman became cannibalistic to me due to dementia so those situations I easily rolled off my back. But this man was not drunk and was not confused. He was angry. I was so offended that I broke down and started to cry. I mean, not small tears rolling down my cheek, but one of those ugly cries. I was near sobbing. You don’t know me very well, but I don’t cry very often. I’m one of those good German-descendant folks that can stand like a statue. I’m not an emotional person. Women that cry over certain things usually make me chuckle internally. So for me to break down in front of a group of people is highly rare. Probably freaked some of my coworkers out. When my coworkers spoke with me I tried to give grace to the gentleman. I came up with possible scenarios to explain why he was so hostile. The rest of the day was horrible. I couldn’t get the words out of my head. I came home and got into a funk. A state of depression/sadness/apathy. Then the Bible verse came to my head. Time to check off my list. Love my enemy, chec… no way. Pray for him…absolutely not. I couldn’t. With every ounce of my will I tried to do that verse. I didn’t want to do it. Someone like that doesn’t deserve love or prayer.

Someone like me didn’t deserve it either when Jesus died on the cross in my place. There is was. The gospel. The Holy Spirit worked through me and I prayed. I prayed for the man to come to know Jesus and be saved. I prayed the same for his family. God showed me that when Jesus spoke those words, it wasn’t a to-do checklist. We can love our children, we can love our friends, but we cannot love enemies. The Holy Spirit can.

This is difficult to teach children. It goes against our natural instincts to treat others kindly if they’ve treated us unkindly. When someone is hostile to us it is so easy to become hostile to them. The way to teach this to kids is by using the Bible, then by your example, letting God work through you especially when they see us fail. We admit our wrong, seek forgiveness, and pray that God can take over. My oldest son saw this a couple of days ago when my face couldn’t hide my discouragement. My husband said that we should pray for mommy because someone was really mean to her and then we will pray for the man.

Must Read Monday: This is No Fairy Tale

This is No Fairy Tale by Dale Tolmasoff isn’t another fairy tale book. It is the very true story of Jesus. It talks about that if Jesus’ story was a fairy tale he would have been born a prince in a castle and lived with the king and queen, but His story isn’t a fairy tale so He was born to a poor family and laid in a manger. Page 22 says “if this were a fairy tale, King Jesus would have lived a long life and died in his bed surrounded by his family and friends  This truth is when Jesus was still a young man the people killed him. They treated him like a criminal, even though he was good.” I love the part where it says “if this were a fairy tale, the story would end when Jesus died.” But we know it didn’t so this is such a great book for kids. Fairy tales are great fun and allow your imagination to take you to far away places and go on great adventures. But the greatest story ever told wasn’t a story, it was real.

 

Teaching Kids to Call 911

Teaching 9-1-1

Those 3 little numbers save lives every day. Teaching your child to call 911 might save your life someday. Teaching your child to call 911 also might make you look like an idiot when your son actually does call them. I decided last night that I wanted my 4 year old to know how to call for help. I’m a nurse and I know that emergencies are rare, but a reality. We don’t have a landline so I wanted to show him on my cellphone how to dial 911. My phone was a little too complicated so I added a 911 app on my droid phone. It was a free app, and unfortunely it works too. I say unfortunely because I didn’t actually want to call them since there was no emergency. I spoke with the nice dispatcher lady and ensured her there was no real emergency.

Important tips when teaching 911:

1) Make sure they don’t actually push send on a cellphone

2) Don’t hang-up if you accidentally call them because they will call you back and that ties up the phone lines for real emergencies.

3) Review what real emergencies are: fire, car accidents, caregiver is unresponsive (doesn’t count if it is early morning because night owl’s aren’t responsive in the AM)

4) Make sure your child knows to ask you before calling 911 (with the exception of you are the lone caregiver and are unresponsive)

5) Teach your children their address and phone number. Post this information in a central location so they can go look if they forget.

6) Teach them to stay on the line with the person and don’t hang-up.

7) Teach them to unlock doors to let emergency workers in.

What I learned with my accidental communication with the 911 dispatch is that for really young kids that don’t know their address or truly understand what an emergency is, then teach them to call: mom, dad, or grandparents. My phone has frequent call people on the front of the screen when you turn it on so I showed my son how to press the picture of his dad to call him.

This week is the start of National Public Safety Telecommunications Week (April 14-20). So make sure and thank the dispatchers by not calling them on accident this week! Maybe send a thank you card instead.

 

 

What is Your Child’s Love Language?

Speaking the Foreign Language of Love

Most people are familiar with the book “The 5 Love Languages.” A lot of married couples recommend it to other couples. The basis is that everyone has a love language. It is one of 5 and you can have more than one.

Love Languages:

(1) quality time

(2) words of affirmation

(3) gifts

(4) acts of service

(5) physical touch.

You might have realized after you were married that most times we try to give our spouse our own love language. I would spend time with my hubby and give him gifts and serve him by making certain meals, etc. The problem was. Those weren’t his love languages. He appreciated them, but HIS love languages were: words of affirmation and physical touch. The problem when we only share our own language to someone is that they don’t feel as loved.

So that brings me to the question of: Do you know what your children’s love languages are? The authors that wrote 5 Love Languages wrote a book for children as well. It is easy for your husband or spouse to communicate that they aren’t feeling as loved, but for kids it isn’t that black and white. Your 5-year-old isn’t going to come up to you and say: “Mom, I really appreciate that you hug me all the time, but I really would rather you say encouraging words to me more often.” I think we are all aware of how different our kids are, but in an effort to make all things fair and just sometimes we miss out on speaking their language to them. My oldest son’s love languages are: Time and Gifts. My youngest son: Physical touch. My youngest loves to be held and hugged and snuggled. My oldest’s loves to get little surprise gifts and just to have one-on-one time. Does that mean I never hug my oldest? Heck no, I tackle him and give him a big hug as he is trying to escape it. It does mean that I am more aware and conscious of how I interact with him. I love this printable guide to children’s love languages and ideas how to love on them uniquely. http://www.busykidshappymom.org/2012/03/five-love-languages-printable-mom-guide.html.

Lesson Learned on April Fool’s

I LOVE April Fool’s day. Love it. I’ve pulled lots of pranks on my family and friends over the years. But one year my prank didn’t go the way I thought it would. A few years ago my brother and I decided to fool our mom. My brother is in the Air Force stationed in California and we decided it would be fun to pretend that he was being deployed overseas for a year. So we ended the conversation and he called my mom. She called me and told me the news and I acted the part and said he had already told me. She seemed fine when we said our goodbyes after the phone call. About 15 minutes later she calls me back. She proceeds to tell me that she just booked a flight to California to visit my brother before he was deployed to go say goodbye. My heart sunk. You did what? She said she was leaving in an hour and a friend was driving her to the airport. What a clever woman, the prank got thrown back at my face. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. I laughed. She didn’t. What was so funny she asked. I asked her what day it was and she acted confused. I said it was April Fool’s day. Silence on the other end of the phone. I thought the connection was lost. Nope. And then came the scolding. Man, I got it. She not only booked a flight, she had sent an email to her church to send out a prayer request for her son’s deployment. I was speechless. After we ended the call I called my brother and scolded him. I said you were supposed to tell her it was a joke. He said I didn’t think she’d actually do anything about it. My mom hopped on a flight to CA and since she didn’t pack much for lack of time my brother had to buy her a bunch of outfits. April Fool’s joke gone wrong. Lesson Learned. Well….maybe not.

Family History Activity

Your kids are never too young to hear about family stories. My 3.5 yr old went through a faze of wanting to play camping trip every day. We would get out our sleeping bags and make a tent out of sheets and chairs. I should include that “faze” maybe the wrong word since I still have to pretend to camp every day. These pretend camping adventures brought me back to when I was a little girl and went camping with my family. I started to tell my son all the different camping stories I remembered. His favorite one I tell is about when my dad, mom, brother, and I were camping in a tent at a campground. A storm came and it started to sprinkle, then rain, then lightning, then thunder, then downpour. The tent buckled under the weight of the pond-sized puddle on top and it came down on us. My 5’11′ mom used her pole-sized leg to hold the tent up (my dad was 5’8”). This story always makes my son laugh.

Activity 1: Sit down with your kids and look through old family albums. Tell them stories you remember as your look through the pictures. Look through their baby book with them and tell them stories about when they were babies. Make a journal of memories so you can give them to your children someday.

Activity 2: Have your child ask grandparent’s and even great-grandparent’s questions and record the answers in a notebook or album. Here are some examples of questions they could ask:

1) What kind of games did you play when you were little?

2) Did you play any instruments?

3) What were your parents like? What memories do you have of them?

4) What kind of holiday traditions did your family celebrate?

5) What was your favorite place to visit?

6) Favorite story involving a sibling.

7) Favorite recipes: include copies in the album

8) What kind of jobs did you have?

9) Happiest day of your life?

10) Worse day of your life?

This website lets you type in your last name to see where it came from. http://genealogy.familyeducation.com/family-names-surnames/meaning-origin

Pictured above: My grandpa as a baby. Wasn’t he cute?

Must Read Monday: Shapes

Final book for Math March is Shapes by Janie Louise Hunt. Since I’ve written about math books for older kids I wanted to include this one because my 16 month old wants me to read him this book every day. It is a cute rhyming story and the shapes have different textures for little fingers to touch. This book is a Busy Fingers Touch and Learn book and there are other books like: Follow the Line, 123, and ABC. Touch and feel books like this help children begin to love books. He also said “a-pole” for the first time after seeing a picture of an apple in this book. So there is a chance I might be biased toward this book because of that.

Spilled water = Gospel analogy

My oldest son decided he didn’t like the cup I handed him so he dumped the water on the floor and ran to his room to pout. I told him that when he decided to clean up the spill, then he could come out. After the heart-to-heart with him I came out and my youngest son (18 months old) had taken a towel and was cleaning up the water. I told my oldest to come out and look what his brother was doing. I told him that he deserved to clean up his own mess because it was his wrong. But his little brother was showing grace by taking it upon himself to clean up the spill. I said that’s what Jesus did for us. We made a mess. We sinned and kept sinning, but Jesus took it upon Himself to clean up our mess. He showed us His grace and love when we didn’t deserve it. I told my oldest to tell his brother thank you for being so kind so he gave him a choke-hold hug and the little one started to cry. Point of the story: There is always opportunities to share the gospel with your kids, even when it’s just spilled water on the floor. Also, don’t give Jesus a choke-hold hug to say thank you. “We are not driven to obey Christ in order to get in good with Him; we are driven to obey Christ by a heart that is filled with gratitude for the way He plucked us out of this world and poured His love out on us.” – R.C. Sproul